Men are the stronger sex right? They have evolved to hunt, to provide food and shelter for the family, to cope with whatever difficulties life presents them with – a sabre tooth tiger, a forest fire… or redundancy. There’s no place for getting emotional and it is their job to keep it together. There’s certainly no place in their lives for therapy – what a ridiculous notion!

Or perhaps, just for this one week, we could:

TAKE ACTION – BANISH THE STIGMA

According to the recent BACP/yougov survey only 29% of males have accessed therapy in their lives, compared to more than 41% of females. This is despite the fact that men are three times more likely to die by suicide than women according to the 2021 census. Men have higher rates of depression, lower rates of accessing medication and yet 40% of men have NEVER discussed their mental health with anyone – friends, family or a professional.

I had a refreshing conversation with a bike mechanic last month. We were chatting while he adjusted my brakes, and I mentioned I was a counsellor. Whether this nugget of information oiled the chain (so to speak) or whether he was just an unusually open male, he told me nonchalantly about a conversation he had had with his counsellor. Had I been sat on said bike, I’d have probably fallen off – I don’t think I’ve ever had such a frank and open discussion with a middle aged man about his mental health before (apart from professionally.) And he was your average, somewhere between alpha and beta, male bike mechanic. It was refreshing and reassuring to have this conversation, but also concerning in the fact that it is so so unusual.

Another thing I’ve discovered, is that by being open about my own counselling experiences, and talking to various people over the years (including males) I have inadvertently prompted them to go and get their own counselling. Before I was even a counsellor, if I felt I could trust someone, I was open about attending therapy, and found that often the effect was to enable others to explore the idea of seeing a counsellor themselves. When someone is vulnerable with you, and honest about how counselling has helped them, it can have a dramatic effect on the stigma that still sits like a pregnant cow on the head of counselling. Once that cow is removed people can see the option clearly and decide for themselves if they think it would help or not. So

TAKE ACTION – BANISH THE STIGMA

This mental health week, I encourage you to be brave, find someone you trust and talk to them about counselling. If you’ve had it, share your experiences, if you haven’t, find out if they have and if they ever would consider it. The more we talk about it, the less that stigma hides what can be an absolute life-line to people.